Surviving the death of my womb twins
This is a report of my own experience of having survived the death of my womb twins. I became aware of the prenatal sensations and perception that I describe here during a body-psychotherapy I did as a part of my new professional training. Although I had no real evidence that we were multiples, this knowledge from my prenatal time has brought me closer to myself, and has added a truly essential positive change in my self knowledge.
I have now a blog [gemeo-sobrevivente.blogspot.com] where I post in Portuguese all kinds of interesting information related to womb twin survivors.
This is a poem written when I was 18 years old:
Sinto que me elevo lentamente
Onde estou não estou também
Estou sempre uns metros mais a cima
Enquanto eu, vazia de alguém
Fico cá em baixo e desespero
Fogem-me as rédeas de quem sou
A de cima voa, observa
Como uma estranha vinda do nada.
A de baixo procura nua e só
Como as ruínas de uma casa abandonada
E eu vou caindo muito fundo
Num vazio escorregadio e irreal
Mas que acaba lá muito longe
É esse Fim a origem desse mal?
I feel as if I'm slowly rising up.
Where I am, I am not as well
I'm always a few meters further up
While, empty of anyone,
I stay here below, in pure despair.
From me escape the reins of who I am;
The one that's above flies, observes,
Like a stranger from nowhere.
The one from below searches naked and alone
Like the walls of an abandoned house in ruins.
And I keep on falling very deeply,
In a slippery and unreal emptiness,
That finishes far, far away
Is that End the origin of this ailment?