Wanderer

In a journey of endless footsteps I gather momentum

Until the journey is myself and I the journey:

The paths proliferate before me, beckoning-

Such wonder lies beyond where every road must bend!

And in the speculation of a misty corner-

Where trees dip and bend in unseen breezes-

Lies the yearning in my heart that drives my endless footsteps, searching....

The scene is clear: the journey is the meaning and the footsteps make the road

Yet in the linear movement lies a certain circularity;

I come back each morning to a place of long ago and far away-

Lost to memory and on the other side of time.

In the echo of that fleeting vision there is longing and abandonment and a

screeching loneliness,

And in my endless footsteps is the expiation of the shame I feel

For something I have never done, could never do!

The bag I carry burdens me: there is fear in there, but sometimes laughter and the

touch of friends.

Yet each step I take forwards is just one step away

And thus I greet and part from friends I dare not truly know.

For in the morning mist, when distant trees dip

And bow against invisible forces of the air,

Then into my mind creeps a tiny memory of mystery....

A creature calling to me through the years.

Who are you, creature of my will?

What do you want of me?

Must carry this burden for you, and walk this road

To find and lose you in endless repetitions?

The burden is a pain that is mine and yet not mine;

The sorrow will overwhelm me if I stay!

Yet I know the one I seek is part of me.

Without you I cannot be whole.

I carry you, burdened with your life, your pain.

Your eternal parting is enacted in my endless leaving

Your longings breed my journeyings

Your restless spirit drives my footsteps on this via dolorosa..

Will I stay a while and dare to know you?

If I look deep into the mist beyond the curve of the road

I see trees dip and bob and know the force of the wind.

If I look deep into the mist behind my eyes

I see my heart break with yearning and know the force of your life.

I long for you and need you, but I don't know who you are.

I try to leave you but you always follow me- your footsteps walk in mine.

Tell me who you are! I need to know your name!

Reveal yourself to me! I will not be afraid.

For in our union there is stillness, and rest.

Althea