I am a womb twin survivor.
It's taken me years to admit this to myself.
She's the buddy I always wanted to back me up.
The mentor I sought out.
The brainstorming partner I always looked for to bounce ideas off.
The person who just 'got me'.
The one I didn't have to explain anything to because we were in synch.
The one who understood my inner tick-tock because she was there too.
My best friend, my soul mate.
She was also the fire I ran away from if someone got too close, and hers is the warmth I craved when I felt lonely and lost.
Because we were co-joined I always felt a part of me was missing.
She was there in my struggle to conceive my own child,
And finally in the loss of my own womb.
I said goodbye to her in my painting
which I took with me into hospital.
Everyone saw that spark, that connection we had in that painting.
It's now fitting that my own mother has that painting on her wall - it was her loss too.
It's been hard to put my voice 'out there' without the comfort of her cheering me on.
But I have finally accepted the connection I have with myself as real,
Conceived my own life,
Am grateful for my gifts
The pen I can pick up, the stories I write, the paintings I paint
And letting her go, out loud and on this page means
I am at peace.