Our first little book of personal stories written by womb twin survivors.

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I've always had relationship issues, with my siblings, my family, things like that. I don't really remember HOW I found out about my womb twin, but I know it was a young age. We don't really talk about it because no one believes my mom and they all think she's lying... The look on her face in the rare moments that we do talk about it is proof enough to me. And the fact that I really have always felt like I was missing something. I think about it a lot but it's really hard to talk about. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I stop and think, what would she be like? Look like? My twin is a part of me and it's crazy to believe that something so incredible couldn't be here with me. I have a twin, a sister, her name would have been Allison. I miss you and never really met you. RIP my sister.

 

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I always kind of knew I was a twin. I wasn't quite sure and I told people I had an unborn brother, although I was sure I had made it up. But today I found out I hadn't. He was real. And although my mom said he was "lost" after 9 weeks of pregnancy so it's not worth being upset over. I know a lot about anatomy, enough to know that's the time a baby can first smile. It's good to know he never felt pain, and I keep dreaming about him. I suppose it's good because now he's just watching over me.

I just have to live more than most people to make up for him.

 

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My identical twin sister was stillborn. I have always known I am a twin. As an infant I had nightmares and the doctor said it was because I was a twin, and as soon as I put my "love for my twin" on to someone else I'd be OK. I was very close to my Dad, when he died I was close to my Mum.  I now feel very alone as they are both dead. I have a brother, husband & two daughters but they have their own lives. I now have no soul mate.  I have always felt alone and not part of groups - I just need my one special person, my other half.  I have always felt alone but not lonely.

 

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My daughter is a womb twin survivor. I went in for a doctors appointment and ended up having a emergency C-section because my baby girl wasn't growing. Her twin had already died weeks before. They were supposed to be born in August but just one was born in early June. Somtimes I wonder what life would be like with five kids instead of four. But I know that, if that baby lived, then we wouldn't have been able to afford to send her to a Christian school. And she probably wouldn't know Jesus today.

 

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I have always thought I must have been a twin. I always felt something was missing. I would pretend I had a twin, or daydream about it. My mother had bleeding when she was four months pregnant with me, so it is possible that I had a twin who died. She even said she wondered if I was a twin. In my early 20s I found out I had Asperger's Syndrome, and I thought that must explain everything, why I was so different growing up, but I still wonder, did I have a twin? I'm about 80% sure I did.

 

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I knew early on that I was different from my siblings. I was very athletic and was surprised when I realized that my left side had little feeling, was weaker and I had little control of it. This began a lifetime of being told I was deformed. I have two extra ribs, only four lumbar vertebrae, a deformed right kidney, abnormally small uterus, abnormal right ovary, a tooth in my sinus. My heart is normal but the arteries are turned backward. I could never get an explanation. One day a nurse said that I might want to read up on vanishing twins. Finally it all made sense---

 

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Several years ago I told my aunt that I always felt I should have had a twin brother. She told me to speak to my mother. My mother described how, when I was born, the midwife said that there had been two babies conceived but that only one had survived. I lead a largely happy life but deep down I feel a loss which I have never been able to fulfil. I am a very logical person but I know this feeling of loss is the absence of my twin. I woke tonight with this feeling and Googled this for the first time and found this website. I could weep. Thank you.

 

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My twin Bruce died at birth and I was always searching for something as a small child. I didn't know until I got older that I probably was looking for him. I think my life would have been more joyful, and I believe I would have been a different person had he been in it. I've always missed him, especially on our birthday. Losing a twin is like losing a part of me, and I've always thought, the best part of me.

 

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I had a tube and ovary ectomy last week, after several weeks of diffuse pain and subfebrile temperatures the week before. Despite, no inflammation was being found, but a dermoid cyst. Back home, I started reading about it and was deeply impressed and overwhelmed: a lost twin? Was that why I led my life always looking for others to feel good and accept rarely getting my needs fulfilled by them? Feeling increasingly alone and not belonging to this world? Thinking about death as a friend? Being attracted by the same type of partners - disastrous co-relationships with the deepest feelings of love and tolerating to be smashed on the ground by them, up and down all the time, helpless, eager for harmony and no way to manage it? Not able to demand respect for my own needs and feelings, but struggling to fulfill their wishes to keep away from conflicts and being left? I'm just at the beginning of dealing with this issue, but I feel it's true for me: I lost my twin.

 

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I learned this week working with a professional who practices muscle testing and tapping that i am a vanishing twin survivor. WoW! New to me. During this week's session he pinpointed all my pain, anger and grief as well as the feeling of not wanting to be here, feeling a deep loneness, feeling of isolation and feeling different all my life. Thru the use of the techniques he said I was not crazy as I have been told, I am a vanishing twin survivor. I lost my twin during second trimester at 4 months. This is very new but I fit the profile to a tee. I am left handed, but i can also do things well with my right hand. I hear voices. All my life I've had dreams of trying to save a tiny fetus that somehow got out of the womb and I am an adult but no matter how I try to save this tiny little thing I never can. The dream is always the same. I have always thought I was losing my mind until this new knowledge surfaced. The info feels right as I research it more and more. The feeling of grief, anger and sometimes rage I have always felt I now realize the root of those feelings. Especially the deep feeling of alone-ness. My mother is dead so I cannot verify with her if anything was unusual about her pregnancy. But I feel I have finally found something rational to explain why I have always felt this way. I am now 55yrs old and I am not crazy!

 

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I guessed that I have a twin - my parents don't know, nor they even know about the vanishing twin syndrome. All they knew was that Mother had bleeding in the third month of pregnancy. But I can never fit into my school; always that empty feeling deep down in my heart that stopped me from going any further. I did not dare to perform my best. I have the habit to get things in even numbers -- two, four, six, eight. When I buy things involving colours I always buy two opposite colours, eg. black and white, red and blue etc. I suspect that I have a twin -- I am almost sure. And I am grateful that I am the survivor, because I know how lonely it feels, and I am relieved that my twin does not have to go through what I am going through now.

 

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My mom never had an ultrasound, so I don't know for sure. But I've always been obsessed with twins, been lonely in crowds, and dreamed I had a brother. As an adult, I struggle with depression, have had 3 miscarriages, and have polycystic ovaries (a condition which is caused by having too many male hormones). I am messy and never finish what I start. I often feel unworthy. I also have only one copy of a genetic mutation. I get really upset at the thought of raising my son with no living siblings, and have actually gotten angry with people who intentionally stop after one child or who complain about their siblings. Is it possible that I might have absorbed my twin brother? I wish I had some proof, I'm tired of being called crazy.

 

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I am a twinless twin. I have been aware of this for my whole life. People often looked at my mother as if she is crazy. For a long time I was on the fence. I do however feel like I never fit in even thou I have a lot of friends and find relationships - personal relationships hard to form. Even have a tattoo of the name my mother was going to give my twin on my back. A few years ago I went to a psychic and she actually told me I was supposed to be a twin.

 

 

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